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20120924
20121002
Search Results 0 to 7 of about 8 (some duplicates have been removed)
. >> one republican i talked to put it very bluntly, a senior republican in ohio said that obama's advantage on the auto bailout is quote a kick in the captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome to the report. thank you for joining us. >> stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! (cheers and applause) >> stephen: thank you, ladies and gentlemen. thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. welcome. what can i say, i, i would have any one of you guard my fountain. (laughter) if anyone did that, and i don't think anybody does that. kind of a stupid job. (laughter) nation, now nation, we got to do this. nation, i'm a humble man. and i will shout that from the mountaintop. (laughter) so i don't like talking about myself. but i've got no choice. we're in a national crisis here. we need to rebuild this country's greatness. well, ladies and gentlemen, i have the blueprints-- no, scratch that. i have the red, white and blueprints. (applause) because this tuesday, october 2nd, i will release
diet coke. but that's not looking good either because obama currently leads romney by 10 points in ohio, 9 points in florida and 12 points in pennsylvania which wouldn't be a problem if between now and november 6th we can just get 290 million people to move to arkansas. (laughter) arkansas, come for the mess, stay because you traded your car for meth. but-- (applause) but, folks there is no reason to panic over these pole numbers. just ask mitt. >> i'm curious to what you would say to your supporters, your donors that might be concerned that this could be slipping away way. >> i'm very pleased with some polls, not with other polls but at this early stage polls go up and down. >> exactly, it's still early, there are 40 days left until the election amount of lot can happen in 40 days. bama could make a gaffe. mitt could win the debates. god could send a flood to destroy all mankind. so there's hope. (laughter) in fact, the election is so far off, why are we even talking about it. mitt isn't talking about it. last week when a reporter asked him if he was going to start campaigning harder r
their chances like the rest of us. (laughter) seriously. i'm sure there's a good reason why president obama's not going to be face to face with world leaders in these difficult and historic times. >> the president obviously has a busy schedule. he has a busy schedule all time. >> jon: yeah, he's got a busy schedule! (laughter) he can't just be meeting every world leader willy-nilly! (laughter) just because he's not meeting them face to face doesn't mean he's not filled with high level strategic room defcon economic simulations. >> president obama will appear on "the view" this morning. (audience reacts) >> jon: moments like these in an election season that you would think would be crushing obama's reelection chances. and yet they are not. why, you ask? (laughter) it's the subject of tonight's news segment "barack obama's the luckiest dude on the planet." (laughter) in an ordinary election involving a stagnant economy, global unrest, and the typical incumbent president would be at an enormous disadvantage. unless-- >> does the government have a responsibility to provide health care to the 50
at barack obama. you see, his buddies in the press are trying to make this crisis about mitt romney. who on the day of the a attacks courageously vowed not to campaign on 9/11. >> there is a time and place for that. but this day is not that. >> stephen: no. that day was not that. (laughter) turns out, that night was that. jim. >> governor mitt romney just releasing this statement. it's disgraceful that the obama administration's first response was not to condemn attacks on our diplomatic missions but to sympathize with those who waged attacks. >> stephen: how dare obama sympathize with the attackers. he should have stood up against them like mitt romney did by attacking our president. (laughter) now it turns out, folks, when romney attacked him, obama hadn't said anything yet. (laughter) mitt was talking about a brief statement condemning religious bigotry put out on the web site of the cairo embassy before the attacks ever happened. so of course there came a barrage of attacks from the liberal media cleverly disguised as conservative media. >> romney stuck his foot in his mouth. he shou
from mitt romney, i am shocked that the latest "national journal" poll has obama leading romney by seven points! but folks there is no reason to panic. fox news will panic for you. (laughter) >> i think these polls in the battleground states understate romney's support. >> i don't believe that the polls really matter until the debates begin. >> i think one of the first times that we should look at the polls in real sincerity is after one or two of the debates. >> stephen: yeah! after one or two of the debates. mid-october. give it time. (laughter) the romney campaign is only on their third reboot since the convention! we've had businessman romney, foreign policy romney, latino romney. (laughter) but we still haven't seen aqua romney! (laughter and applause) he-- (cheers and applause) he uses his mental powers to tell fish that 47% of them are just lampreys. (laughter) so conservatives, just forget about the polls! it is way too soon to start mourning the death of the romney campaign. and i am not in denial here, because that would mean i was starting the five stages of grief. an
Search Results 0 to 7 of about 8 (some duplicates have been removed)